John Haden is a senior at Coral Coast High School. He was voted April Senior Boy of the Month. Following Dr. Davenport's suicide, John Haden is revealed to have been Eddy's mom's mistress. John is generally liked by all save the late Dr. Davenport. He loved artisanal bread which played a pivotal role in his character arc. His nickname is "John on Rye" as his family were primarily Hasidic Jews who owned a deli at which he got rye bread.
Goals
- Be the first Jew to hangglide
- Own his own deli
- Pass Spanish
- Not die
Death
John is killed offscreen after having a reaction to stone fruit, to which he is deathly allergic. His funeral is the focal point of the 4th season.
Catchphrase
- "Mother Magoo..."
Reception
John has been hailed as one of the most impactful characters of the 21st century.